Well, I’m all for raising money in any way you can, but there is just something odd about a naked clown calendar. For some reason I expect to see Clown White all the way down and not just on their faces. After all, clowns are normally totally covered with only their pale faces showing. So it would stand to reason that a naked clown would be all white with the occasional splash of color here and there.

Graduates of San Francisco’s Clown Conservatory-well, that’s just silly anyway, isn’t it?-have stripped down for the 2009 Naked Clown Calendar. I’m sure its the kind of thing that would make any clown’s parent proud. Of course, they are doing it for a good cause. You do have to wonder how many people will buy a naked clown calendar.

The clown’s hope to raise a million dollars with their Naked Clown Calendar, and they just might do it. Naked Firefighter Calendars have been successful, as was that naked little old lady calendar in England. Seems to be all the rage to have a naked calendar these days. I just hope the Shriners don’t decide to have their own Naked Clown Calendar-that would just be scary.

For most of us the first day of fall is less about equinox and more about cooling off. There are also those Charlie Brown type memories of jumping in mounds of leaves and making a wonderful mess of a once clean area. Of course, you need good trees for the right kind of leaves.

Maple trees have good colored leaves, but they are pretty small. Pecan trees have a lot of leaves, but they are not all that pretty. Sweet gum trees have the nasty habit of putting those pointing seed pods in the mix. For my money the best tree for leaves is the Sycamore Tree.

My first day of fall memories may not be about Sycamore Trees, but my autumn memories in general certainly are. Sycamore trees have huge leaves, the kind of leaves that could cover a dinner plate. Ok, they are not exactly banana trees in size, but for a normal type of tree that looses it’s leaves-deciduous is it?-Sycamore Trees are the best. Sycamore trees are generally frowned upon now because they drop large leaves, golf ball sized seed pods, and even shed their bard from time to time to reveal a lovely white skin under neither. Sycamores are wonderful trees and I love them because of all the things they do.

A couple of good Sycamore Trees will fill a yard with leaves, maybe not on the first day of fall, but over the course of a few weeks. As they dry they give off a wonder scent. I have always been fond of the smell of Sycamore tree leaves, especially after they have dried out a bit and turned brown and brittle. Charlie Brown would have loved jumping into a pile of Sycamore leaves, they have a nice aerdynamic quality. So on this first day of fall 2008 I let my thoughts wander back to the old neighborhood with its tree lined streets and I miss all those Scyamore trees.

But I can look out my window right now and see a neighbor’s Sycamore tree. I can sneak over and grab a couple of leaves when the mood strikes me. I think I may wander over and see how this Sycamore likes the first day of fall.

But to me, the Montauk Monster looks like nothing more monstrous than some lowlife torching a dog. Which is pretty real world monstrous. The idea of a sea turtle seems out as sea turtles and their shells don’t easily part company. Since we have no idea of the size of the Montauk Monster we are left with the general shape, which looks a lot like a standard issue dog. The ‘beak’ is the thing that seems to have everyone up in arms. But is it really a beak? Or just a dog with its upper jaw missing?

I was watching Showtime’s Masters of Horror recently and saw the episode H.P Lovecraft’s Dreams in the Witch House in which a rat with a human face is a witch’s familiar. Perhaps this is one of Lovecraft’s rat people that didn’t quite make it all the way through. Whatever the Monster of Montauk is, it’s all the rage on Google Trends.

It’s possible that the Montauk Monster will be explained, as The Feejee Mermaid and Piltdown Man were explained. Maybe just a clever bit of Photoshopping. Or maybe the Montauk Monster will remain a mystery and people will forever wonder-what the hell is that thing?

A big part of my buzz marketing has always been checking out Google Trends and seeing if there is anything of interest in the Top Ten. If there is I can usually whip a post that will have a good chance of getting listed on the front page of Google Trends for that topic. Google likes words-three hundred words or so with twenty or so keywords related to the subject. It is not difficult to pound keywords for viral internet marketing campaigns, but you have to remember that you are writing for people as Googlebots. Just pounding a list of marketing buzz words can get you hits-and this is all a lot of blogger want.

I have never used email marketing, I guess I have been hit with too much spam over the years for an email campaign to appeal to me. Not all internet advertising is spam, but sometimes it feel that it is. That’s what makes a successful viral marketing campaigns so appealing, they come looking for you, you aren’t pestering them. Morning programs like The Today Show, Good Morning America, and even The Daily Buzz can launch a product into viral marketing campaign heaven with just a mention. Most blogs are not going to hit network TV, but we can piggyback onto those products when they do take off.

I recent ran across Popurls, a collection of the top listings on many social networks like Digg, Del.ico.us, Reddit, and many others. This should be a good place to get ideas for internet marketing advertising, search engine marketing, and viral marketing. Of course, it is a great time sink as well a source of viral marketing ideas.

When you search for a website, Google shows what it thinks is the best results for the keywords you entered. Internet marketing and advertising is therefore, all about those keywords. So I like to hit the Google Keyword Tool as part of my viral marketing strategies. Use the dropdown menu to find the most exspense keywords and use them in your post. This is basic internet search marketing, but it has worked pretty well for me. I’m not an internet marketing specialist, but I have gotten Google Top Ten spots for many of my posts with this online marketing techinque.

Everyone will be famous for 15 minutes. Andy Warhol

Yoko Ono, famed meanie who broke up the Beatles-the most popular band in history-is in the news for suing a singer most of us have never heard of called Lennon Murphy. E!Online has all the details about Yoko Ono going after Lennon Murphy by filing a petition with the Trademark Trial and Appeal Board of the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office. Seems Yoko gave permission for Lennon Murphy to use the name Lennon in 2000, but has now decided it is a bad idea. Lennon Murphy has a wikipedia page and a spot on Myspace, as well as lennononline.com..

A few years ago there was a performance artist that decided to call himself Tabasco. He was a small fish, much like Lennon Murphy, but like Yoko, McIlhenny’s told him to stop using their name in his act. He told them he was not selling hot sauce, so he was not in competition with them. They still demanded he stop using the name Tabasco, which is the name of a state in Mexico and not the sole property of McIlhennys. I never did hear what happened about all of that, but I am guessing McIlhennys won, as they are really serious about anyone using the word Tabasco for anything at all.

Lennon is a dead common name, and it seems to be the woman’s actual name-her mum liked John Lennon-and not something she just uses on stage. But having a real name of McDonald doesn’t give you the right to open a hamburger stand and start selling Big Macs. So Yoko can sue Lennon Murphy if she wants.

The real story here is that all you need to do to get your fifteen minutes of fame is piss off someone famous. I can easily see a dozen no name bands changing their names to Lennon, McCartney, Ringo, or Harrison-no point in limiting the potential media attacks to just one of the Fab Four’s lawyers. How about a Lennon blog? Or a Yoko Ono blog? Or maybe go for broke and have the Tabasco Lennon Band. Lennon Murphy should send Yoko a nice thank you gift for all the free press. Maybe a Tabasco gift basket would do the trick.

Lennononline.com has a lengthy open letter talking about the whole Yoko vs Lennon thing. Maybe Lennon can sue Yoko for something and keep this story going for years in litigation. There must a lawyer out that there that would want to take this case for free, just for the publicity. Where’s Johnnie Cochran when you need him? If the Lennon name fits, Ono must desist. Or something like that.