If you don’t live near an ocean, or Burning Man, then your chances to be an exhibitionist, or someone that likes to look at exhibitionist, are pretty much curtailed. That is where the Renaissance Festival comes to the rescue. Here the tattooed can show off their ink and the sun can kiss the naked flesh.
Kansas City Ren Fair
As always the young and scantily clad get a lot of looks from older fellows like myself, but I must be close to that age where they don’t see me as much of threat any more, as most just smile at me now. Oh well. Of course, there is more to a Ren Fair half naked girls dressed as fairies, not much more, but a bit more.
My favorite musical group at the Kansas City Ren Fair is the Jolly Rogers, they sing a number of bawdy songs and make a lot of lewd jokes. My kind of show. One of the songs was about a fellow that had a Port in Every Girl. There were also a number of jokes about a man with a well stuffed codpiece and the crows nest on his Mast.
The food was good, but a bit pricey, as will all Renaissance Festivals. There were Scotch Eggs, Shrimp and Chips, Cheesecake on a Stick and all sorts of odd things. We had crepes for lunch and they were very good. There coffee, which is not something you need in Texas, where I usually go to Ren Fairs. It was great to have it on the cold wet morning of Columbus Day.
The ground was muddy and I felt sorry for all the people wearing very nice costumes that had to hold their hem up every time they walked anywhere. The ground was very squishy, as the Queen put it when we found her wondering about the grounds one time. Queen Elizabeth the First had a great costume and looked very much the part of a Royal Person.
The main purpose of a Ren Fair is to separate you from your money, pretty much like any place else you are likely to go. There are a lot of booths set here and there among the trees and on the byways. There are all kinds of arts and crafts, stained glass, pottery, perfumes of one kind or another. One of favorite places sells skulls and bones and furs. Not very politically correct, but still kind of cool. There are also shops selling things like spells and enchantments, as well a good assortment of Fortune Tellers of one sort or another.
If you’ve never been to a Ren Fair, it can be a bit of a shock, but once you are used to Arts and Crafts and odd food and lewd jokes and half naked people, they are a lot of fun.