Star Trek Enterprise - If You Write It

Star Trek:Enterprsie was my least favorite of the new Star Trek Series. It was easily the least Star Trek like, and a logical next step in The Antichrist Rick Berman’s quest to destroy the Star Trek Brand and remake it in his own demonic image.

The Wife is a member of a Star Trek fan club and we went to a movie opening while Star Trek Enterprise was on the air. A couple of the members showed up wearing jump suits and baseball caps and looked exactly like garbage collectors, or maybe janitors, so I asked them who they were supposed to be.

“We’re members of the crew of Enterprise!” they said happily. And so that was one more thing not to like about Star Trek Enterprise, the auto mechanic jumpsuits with a touch of gold at the shoulders. These are Star Fleet Uniforms?

We have been watching Season Two of Star Trek Enterprise and I am still not that crazy about the show. I had forgotten how often they managed to get the hottie Vulcan T’Pol to strip down to her underwear-or less. Jolene Blalock was a real beauty who had to walk around with a sour look on her face for four years, as she was a Vulcan and couldn’t show any emotions. There was also that whole hint of sexual tension between T’Pol and Captain Cupcake, but it never came to anything. Captain Kirk would have had her at the Science Station during a red alert and they would have shared little smiles the rest of the series.

One of my main gripes about Star Trek Enterprise was Rick Berman’s ultra wimpy Captain Archer being set down as The Greatest Star Fleet Captain in the Universe-with dozens of cities, countries, and planets named after him. Captain Cupcake was so important that the entire Federation would cease to exist without him there to give it a helping hand. PLEASE!! This was the dullest, most pathetic Star Fleet Captain Ever!

In an Episode called A Night in Sickbay, our hero Captain Archer is all broken up about his dog being sick, and his big triumph in the show is to make an elaborate apology, which involved a chainsaw and beads in his hair, to a bunch of weirdos so he can get a Warp Injector. This is shown as Captain Cupcake being a real man. Did Picard cry over his fish Livingston? Did Kirk even have a pet?-and remember Kirk was OK with killing off thousands of cute little Tribbles. Janeway would have just leveled the planet and took what she wanted.

As a long time fan of Star Trek I always hate it when the new shows decide to go back and rewrite Trek history. So that all of the ‘firsts’ on Star Trek really happened first on Star Trek Enterprise. The show was not a huge hit, so it was not just old timers like me that didn’t like it.

Then there was the theme song, a sappy little ditty with the feel of 1970s folk song that plays while a series of images of mankind’s steps into space play in the background. This is the worst sci fi theme ever, maybe just the theme song made people change channels.

Still, any Trek is better than no Trek and Entreprise does have a few fun moments. It’s always good to see T’Pol strip down to her underwear.