The State Fair of Texas-I’m Getting Too Old

Remember the good old days, before Firefox and Pop-Up Blockers? You would go to a site and whamo! you would be hit with a dozen ads for all kinds of useless crap you didn’t want? This is the State Fair of Texas. Sign up for this, sign up for that, enter a drawing, spin the wheel to win a prize. So I did a couple, just for the hell of it. One spin won me a trip to Las Vegas, cool. Do you want to listen to a 90 pitch for a time share in Iriving? No, not really. Ok, have a nice day at the Fair. What about that Trip to Las Vegas? Oh, listen to that 90 Minute Pitch for a Time Share in Irving and it’s yours! Ah, thanks anyway.
Another booth had a couple of bible thumping yahoos asking that dumb ass question If You Died Tonight, where would you be Tomorrow? Get Bent.
I really don’t remember it being this bad before, but as I said, I have gotten used to not putting up with this kind of crap online, so having real live pop-ups yelling at me all day was an odd experience. So, forewarned is forearmed, or something like that.
I went on a Wednesday, which is bring three cans of food and get in for a dollar day. So I shouldn’t complain too much for getting to go to the State Fair of Texas for A Dollar. But I still will, a little bit more.
There were a lot of cops at the State Fair. I’m talking sneeze and you knock one over. Committing a crime somewhere else in Dallas would be a great idea during the Fair, as I wonder if there are any regular duty cops left for the city at large. I was also surprised by the Security Check as we went in, I know, I should not be surprised by people wanting to Wand me whenever I go anywhere, but it was still a surprise. Again, better safe than sorry I guess.
I tried the oddball food of the year, which was Deep Fried Cookie Dough. For 6 dollars you got three bits of dough flash fried and drizzled with chocolate sauce. It was not all that great and it would have been better without the sauce.
We rode the new Skycars, which sounded a lot bigger than they really are. They are a bit larger than the old ones, and the enclosed car got pretty damn hot on the short ride from end of the Midway to the other. On one ride we shared the car with a couple of Dumbass Teenagers that wanted to rock the damned thing until I yelled at them to stop. Amazingly, they stopped. Other than that it was the same old ride, with a slight sway here and slight dip and bounce there. It was fun, and still a bit scary for a mega-wimp like myself. But only a bit.
The main State Fair of Texas experience was one of overall tiredness. I am getting old, or maybe I am old, as walking around for a few hours left me limping and really out of sorts.
I ate a Fletcher’s Corny Dog and it tasted much as I remember them tasting, which is seriously good. We also had a Dollar Hotdog, which is the cheapest thing to eat at the State Fair. But I was still in pain and a bit sunburned as I forgot to put on the sunblock before heading out for the day.
Big Tex rambled on about The Card Stacker, but we didn’t go and see him trying to set a new world record. Big Tex also suggested that you wash your hands before you eat, which is always a good idea. He didn’t remind people to wash their hands after going to the bathroom, but then, I wasn’t around the big guy all day. That deep rumbling voice can be kind of creepy.
I looked at the new cars, but found them a bit boring now that I have a new car and can pretty much buy a new one when I need to. It was always more fun to look at them when they were just dream items. Now they are just cars.
It was still fun, mostly, but maybe I need to start going to knitting bees instead.


Jon Herrera
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