You Suck A Love Story

You Suck is a comedy horror novel by the brilliant Christopher Moore, who also wrote It’s A Dirty Job and a butt load of those books. I recently read It’s a Dirty Job and liked it a enough to want to hear a few more of these books.

You Suck is about two loser vampires, a Goth Girl, a bunch of numskulls that work the night shift at Safeway and The Emperor of San Francisco. There are a number of places were the story here overlaps with the story in It’s A Dirty Job, with Asher and his Goth Girl making a cameo appearance. The Emperor of San Francisco makes the occasional appearance in both books.

My favorite character is Abby Normal-tragic and forlorn minion of the vampire Flood. Flood is 19 and has been a vampire for a couple of weeks. A lot of silly things happen in You Suck. The vampire heroes have to hide from a vampire villain, a gang of new vampires, a formally blue whore, and a huge cat. The huge cat has much more of a part in the story I would have suspected. The huge cat has more adventures than the vampires, though he is much more laid back about.

Abby, well, she is like totally bitchen, in a really rad way. She is like totally down with the modern lingo-or is it that totally old fashioned lingo-of like, OMG, Valley Girls. Audio book reader Susan Bennett really, and I mean, really-like totally-let’s herself go with the Valley Girl talk when Abby has the center stage. One of the best little bits is when Abs finds true love. She like kisses the guy, then she slaps him so he won’t think she’s a total slut, but not too hard, so he’ll know she still likes him.

The book was fun, but was a sequel to something I haven’t read. The events just sort of pick up and we are off and running with little to no explanation for why anything is happening. The book ends in a way that clearly leaves room for the next book in the saga as well. Like the Discworld books, there seems to be in infinity of stories written by Christopher Moore about the fun and amazing world of the supernatual. You Suck was fun, and I will be sure to give any new ones I find a listen as well.


Jon Herrera
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